When Peace Matters More Than Being Right

We can probably all remember a disagreement that stayed with us longer than it should have. It may have happened with someone at home, at work, in our family, or even at church. Disagreements are a part of life, but they can feel especially painful when they involve people with whom we worship and serve.

I remember having a disagreement with someone at church over the Covid 19 vaccine. I had my thoughts about what had happened, and I wanted the other person to understand my side. I wanted to explain why I felt the way I did. But sometimes, the more we try to prove our point, the farther we move away from peace. There comes a moment when we must ask ourselves: Is it more important for me to be right, or is God asking me to make room for peace?

Paul addresses a disagreement between two women in the Philippian church, Euodias and Syntyche. He does not tell us what caused the conflict or who was right. Instead, he reminds the church that these women had worked faithfully alongside him in sharing the gospel. Their disagreement did not erase their service, value, or love for God.

That is important because faithful Christians can disagree. We can love the same God, attend the same church, and still view a situation differently. Spiritual maturity is not demonstrated by never having conflict. It is revealed in how we allow Christ to shape our response.

Paul asks the women “to be of the same mind in the Lord.” He is not demanding that they have identical opinions. He is calling them to remember that what united them in Christ was greater than what divided them.

I have learned that sometimes you simply have to stop trying to be right. That does not mean truth no longer matters. It does not mean pretending that nothing happened or remaining silent about harmful behavior. It means refusing to allow pride, anger, or the need to be vindicated to control your actions.

Peace may require an honest conversation. It may require an apology, forgiveness, a healthy boundary, or help from a spiritually mature person. Paul himself asked someone to help these women. We are not always able to resolve difficult relationships alone.

At other times, peace may mean releasing the need to have the final word. You may have explained yourself as clearly and lovingly as you could. The other person may still see the situation differently. That is when you must place the relationship and the outcome into God’s hands.

Is there someone with whom you are struggling today? Before rehearsing everything the other person did wrong, pause and ask, “Lord, is there anything in my heart that You want to change?” That question does not excuse what happened. It simply gives God permission to begin His work in you.

You cannot control whether another person chooses reconciliation, but you can ask God to govern your attitude, words, and actions. Sometimes peace begins before the relationship changes. It begins when your heart becomes willing to let God lead.

Peace does not always begin when two people agree. Sometimes it begins when one person releases the need to win. When we release pride and make room for peace, something else begins to rise within us, joy. Tomorrow, Paul will remind us that joy is still available, even when our circumstances and relationships are not perfect.

Pearl's Prayer:

Lord, examine my heart and show me anything that is standing in the way of peace. Give me humility to listen, wisdom to speak, and grace to forgive. Help me know when to address an issue and when to release the need to have the final word. May my response reflect the character of Christ. In Jesus’ name, amen.

I Am The Vessel, God Is The Grace